Accepting Empty Spaces

If we look back on our lives, it is easy to see patterns that weren’t visible while we were living them. One striking pattern to my life, and I suspect to the lives of many others, is the unconscious need to fill the empty spaces I feel within myself. Whether it be with activities, food, illicit drugs, television, movies, buying, accumulating things or becoming overly involved in the lives of others—engaging in them ultimately keeps us from addressing the emptiness we feel.

Why? Because emptiness is scary. Could it be we are frightened that by acknowledging our emptiness it could grow and we could become “an empty person?” When I was young and enticing, I was basically hitting on a fellow at a party and he said “You are lovely and so tempting. But you are hollow inside.” He said it with a smile and though I wasn’t about to examine the truth of what he said then, his observation obviously stuck with me. It took me years to know what he meant.

When we put all of our energy into our image or our outside circumstances, that’s what we become “a hollow person.” But there is hope! By realizing our fear and by going into our emptiness, we can come to know it. We can accept it instead of trying to fill it up. And, as if magical, sometimes an acceptance of emptiness makes us seem less empty. When I am doing mindless, compulsive behaviors I try to stop and ask myself “What do I really need?” “What am I avoiding?” The answer is often, “I need to connect with myself, with all my feelings not just the feel good ones.”

When I am in pain, seeking out the things that comfort me so I can process the pain is more productive than the mindlessness patterns I’ve indulged so frequently in my life. Feeling my hungry soul more often involved prayer and meditation than shoveling food I don’t need into my mouth. Having a close friend we can call and say “I’m not sure what’s up but I’m feeling kinda empty today,” can lead to a conversation where you feel connected to both yourself and the other person.

I encourage and support you in getting off the merry-go-round that keeps your personal circus going. Sit back and see what patterns are yours.

Take care,

Mary

230 thoughts on “Accepting Empty Spaces”

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