Holiday Alert: Slow Down and Breathe

This month the good news and the bad news are the same: The holidays are coming! How does one maintain alcohol and illicit drug abstinence when it seems like the whole culture is about partying and celebration? When too often, this means commercials and billboards with larger-than-life bottles of liquor and happy laughing people? How does someone in recovery navigate through this treacherous season without endangering your recovery?

The answer can seem simple: Go slowly and breathe! Take time to make decisions, refuse to get caught up in the mindlessness of the season. Dig deeper inside you and question what the holidays really mean to you? Is it a spiritual holiday for you? Is it a time to appreciate friends and family? Is it something you’d rather forego than give much thought to? What are your goals for the holidays—to simply get through them? To share some good times with family and/or friends? To meditate on your faith and pray for world peace too?

We are told what we “should” feel and do around the holidays. But as adults living our lives, it is really our choice what we do. If your family is a healthy place for you to be, by all means celebrate with them! If they are still embroiled in their addictions or if just being around them is a trigger for you to use, then cutting your visits short or even taking a sober friend to a family event is a good idea. Not going sounds harsh, but if it comes down to you relapsing or not, then the best thing you can do is to skip the events, activities, and people that will come between you and your recovery.

Many mutual support groups plan extra activities this time of year, realizing that people in recovery need safe places to be together with others in recovery. Check out your area to see where 24 hour events are being held. There is always company, food, and activities you can participate in through what may be difficult days to get through.

It’s hard not to, but try not to equate how much you care about people with how much money you spend on them. Time is a great gift to give, so offer to give someone an hour or two of gardening or to bake them something you know they like. Giving of yourself is always a cherished gift. I love it when my adult children write something for me. It means much more than a purchased gift because it truly came from their hearts.

What do you want this holidays season? List your top 3 goals, such as: Stay illicit drug and alcohol abstinent; Feel connected to myself and others; and Commit to kindness. Choose activities that support your goals. Let the others things go, breathe peace in, breathe chaos out. Remember you are creating a life that works for you. It doesn’t have to be a greeting card or a tv commercial. The life you create just needs to be meaningful to you.

May you find peace and joy along your chosen days,

Mary

 

 

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